Dazed and Confused

When Traditions End

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 14:23:24 GMT

My Dad was a craftsman, and could do just about anything. He built half the furniture in my house. Heck, he gutted my first house and made it a home. (I impeded him with that operation, but learned a lot, as well.)

He went through a lot of hobbies. For a while he did leathercraft. I still have--and use--the wallet he made for me over 30 years ago. He made jewelry. (I wear 14 rings, five of them he made.) But one of his most endearing projects were his wood carvings--a hobby that stayed with him for a long time. He liked to do variations of Santa, and literally did hundreds of them. These little guys were one of his first efforts, and look pretty primitive when compared with his later work. He gave them to me for my birthday in 1992. When he'd finished them, he thought they looked like they were singing--and that they should do that under a lamppost--so he made one of those, too!

At first, he was very critical of the painting of his carvings, and even asked my husband to do a few, but in no time he was better at it than Frank, and adding more and more decorations to the little guys. He did fat Santas, tall Santas and a lot of short Santas. His favorite were Tomties--little elves that help Santa. (As pictured on the right.) He made a LOT of these, and usually they were doing something, (like this little guy holding the candle) and usually wore "wooden" shoes.

I'm really not sure how Dad got into carving, but for him, it was an adventure, albeit a usually solitary affair. I had my critique group, and Dad had his carving buddies that he saw every few weeks. One of them moved to Berea, KY--home of The Kentucky Artisans center, which, like the name says, showcases the work Kentucky's best artisans. Dad's former carving partner wanted to make a certain carving, but it wouldn't come out right, so Dad made one and sent it to him as a prototype. Unknown to Dad, the man put Dad's carving into a local competition where it took first prize! (The one on the left is another version of that prizewinner.)

As far as adventures go, one day Dad was in his workshop carving, when he called up to my mother. "I've cut myself." She figured he'd cut his hand, but he'd actually dropped the knife on his thigh. When she got down to the workshop, there was so much blood, she thought he'd slashed an artery and got on the phone to 911, then hauled him upstairs to wait for the ambulance. There was blood everywhere--on the workshop floor, the stairs, all over the kitchen. The EMTs arrived in record time and got the bleeding under control, but they sent him to the ER just in case. Then they wanted to see THE CARVING KNIFE. When Mom showed the guy, he nearly went into hysterics of laughter. He'd been expecting a 10-inch carving knife, not a tiny 1-inch blade. (Hey, those suckers are sharp.) Ninety minutes later, Dad was belly-up to the bar at my Aunt's house where they were supposed to go for dinner--and only 30 minutes late. (Hey, there was a Manhattan waiting with his name on it.)

One of my favorite carvings is Santa stuck in the chimney. From the top, all you see are Santa's legs sticking out--but turn the carving over, and there's Santa's sooty face.

Dad didn't do too many carvings these last few years. His remaining carving buddy moved away and it wasn't so much fun any more. But last year for Christmas he gave me two of his last efforts. One was unpainted, the other was a Bear dressed in overalls. They live in my office, with a couple of fishermen, an owl, and an unfinished Santa tree ornament. The rest of them reside on a little bookshelf in my living room. I have carved bunnies, birds, a deer, and even a walrus, and I love them all.

Dad passed away in October, so there won't be just one more "found" carving to go in my collection. (I know they're there--I've seen them in his workshop, which is pretty much just the way he left it.)

It's the end of a wonderful tradition. While it makes me terribly sad, I have all these wonderful pieces that Dad made, a lot of them signed "For Lorraine made by her Dad."

The were the best Christmas presents ever.

"This House Is Clean"

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 14:41:41 GMT

Today marks the second time the cleaning ladies will have shown up. As I looked around my kitchen this morning, I was pretty pleased that we'd "kept it up" since the last time they were here. Even the floor still looks good, and when you've got pigs...er, cats...who insist on taking their food OUT of their clean bowls and eating it off the floor--well, that's saying something. (And why is it they do that, anyway? My Mom's dog does the same thing.)

Of course, my office still looks like a bomb hit it, but that's because I haven't found a home for the all the clutter that got stacked in here two weeks ago. And I still have all the clobber from the craft shows I did for the past month hanging around. (That's a LOT of boxes.)

But, truly, knowing somebody is going to come and clean does actually keeps you from messing the place up too much--which is really rather counter productive. In fact, yesterday I found myself washing the wall behind the stove, and then I cleaned the sinks and scrubbed the top of the stove (Soft Scrub and baking soda--an unbeatable combination!).

The guilt is starting to abate about needing someone to come in and clean. As my friend Jan told me, "you're contributing to the economy and keeping someone in a job."

I like having a clean house, and wonder why we didn't do this years ago.

PET PEEVE THURSDAY--Having No Pet Peeves

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 14:09:44 GMT

Can you imagine this: just a week before Christmas and I haven't got one thing to be annoyed about.

I did some major shopping the other day (I was gone from 10 a.m. until after 4 p.m.) and everyone I ran across was NICE. I was in Macy's and not only did a salesperson approach me and ask if I needed help, she stuck with me for half an hour, made sure I had boxes, and found someone to ring up my sale. You see, this woman was a DISTRICT MANAGER, but she was helping out because they were shorthanded. Let me tell you, Macy's is now MY favorite place to Christmas shop. (Except for bookstores, of course.)

People held the door open for me and my mother.

People wished us "Merry Christmas," "Happy Holidays," and to "have a nice day."

Traffic was heavy, but no one acted like an idiot and refused to let me change lanes when I needed to.

I wish this Christmas spirit could last the whole year.

Oh How I Love Vintage Christmas Cards!

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 14:28:43 GMT

Once again, it's time to haul out the Christmas cards and get them in the mail to friends and family. For me, receiving Christmas/holiday cards is one of the highlights of the season. So why is actually writing and sending them such a chore? (And I say that with love in my heart.) I guess it's because I have a hard time deciding who should get what card. (I always have at least six or seven boxes of them going at any one time.)

I'm always amazed at the variety of cards out there. Polar bears must be big this year, because we already have a couple of them (and, gosh, they're cute!). And I love cards that are all sparkly, too. (So how come I never buy them to send out? Hmmm.) I save my cards, too. In fact, I have the last card my grandfather sent me about 25 years ago, and every year I post it on the cork wall in my entryway.

It's no secret that I collect a LOT of different Christmas stuff, including ephemera. I've got old boxes of (never used) wrapping paper, gummed labels, gift tags and, of course, Christmas Cards. Just the other day I went through a small plastic tote of just the old Christmas cards from the 40s, 50s and 60s, and wish I could send them out to friends and family. There are two reasons I don't. First, I don't think an old, yellowing card would be well received, and second--then I wouldn't have them any more.

It's the charming images that appeal to me. They're from a simpler time, when Christmas wasn't quite so commercial, when people didn't get trampled and die in that quest for a larger TV on sale at 4 a.m. I like the pictures with houses and snow. Welcoming front doors with wreaths. Santa and the reindeer. Candles in a window.

I often wonder about the people who put these cards together--the artists, designers, and those who wrote the copy. Things like:

It's fun to say
"HELLO" to you
and send this
MERRY CHRISTMAS too!

Or how about:

Christmas
is a happy time,
A time of warmth and cheer,
A time to say "Hello"
and wish
You joy all through the year!
(This one was signed: Love Sherman & Diane)

I wish I could hang them all.

Do you display the Christmas cards you receive?

You should shop there!

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 11:05:23 GMT

Yesterday I spent a wonderful two hours in an independent bookstore in Medina, NY. It's called The Book Shoppe. Owner Sue Phillips and her assistant Robin made me feel so welcome. Not only did they have a table full of books for me to sign, but they had cookies and coffee waiting for me and the customers. (I'm not a coffee drinker, but the aroma was heavenly, and on a cold December Sunday, very welcoming.)

The store itself is not only beautiful, and filled with wonderful books, stationery, mugs, cards, candy and lots, lots more. And their children's section is phenomenal.

In between customers, Sue and Robin graciously answered my questions about running a small bookstore, and I gained more than a few ideas to incorporate into future Booktown Mysteries.

If you're ever in Western New York, stop in picturesque Medina, and definitely check out The Book Shoppe.

Trotting out old favorite holiday mysteries

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 15:01:32 GMT

On a recent visit to my local bookstore, I wandered through the mystery section to see what was new (and did they have copies of my book(s) and those of my friends). On all the cap ends were holiday mysteries. Lots of them. Whoa!

A quick look at the copyright dates proved that these were NOT new books getting preferential treatment, but that the bookstore was trotting out seasonal backlists to satisfy its readers' desire to get in the holiday spirit with a little touch of murder.

Some bigger-name authors get their holiday books re-released everyyear with "new-improved" editions, with extras like recipes and holidayessays. (Can you think of a better thing? New editions--somethingevery collector will want and NEED!) Ka-ching, ka-ching!

I told an author friend of mine that we needed to write holiday books that we could trot out every year. Unfortunately, it's usually the publisher--not the author--who decides these things.

Still, I do have a holiday story I can trot out every year. Okay, it's available year-round on Amazon Shorts, and I rarely trot. Add to that, the title gives no clue that the story is set during the holiday season. It's called "We're So Sorry, Uncle Albert," and it's so forlorn (i.e. lack of sales) it isn't even ranked any more. I wanted to explore the relationship between the have and have-nots within a family unit. What would it take to goad family members to even consider bumping off a “loved one?” And what are the possibilities of getting away with such a crime? And why not set it during the holiday season?

And at only 49 cents, it's a heck of a deal!

Will I ever write a novel set at Christmas? Well . . . maybe. I do have one in the closet that takes place around Thanksgiving -- and the epilogue takes place on Christmas Eve. And my first Victoria Square Mystery takes place Halloween week and ends--you got it--at Christmastime!

Neither of them are truly holiday oriented, so it looks like it'll be a while (if ever) before any of my backlist gets trotted out for the holidays.
(But one never knows.)
What's your favorite holiday book/story?

The Dreaded Holiday Letter?

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 12:06:21 GMT

I don't know about most of you, but I LOVE to receive those holiday letters that come in Christmas Cards.

These letters seem to have a bad rap with a lot of people, like they're just a brag-fest. But the thing is, I don't hear from some of these people for 11-12 months at a time. It's nice to catch up on what's going on in their lives, even if it isn't an interactive conversation.

A friend of mine has had a couple of bad years. Her college-age son has been quite ill and the last couple of letters have chronicled his progress. And that's the key word--he has made progress and it going to go back to school in January after taking more than a year off for a medical leave. Mind you, I never knew her son, but we were critique partners for a couple of years and we got along really well. I was so sorry to hear about her son's problems, and I'm glad he's on the mend.

I know I'll get at least two or three of these letters. I even got a couple of holiday letters from fans of my writing. They sent Christmas cards to me at my PO Box and included their letters. I read about families I never knew, their vacations, their dogs and cats, their parents and siblings. It was fascinating!

I used to send letters out, but now I'm not so sure. I had two life-altering experiences this year. I made the New York Times Bestsellers list (7 weeks in all--talk about a brag-fest) and I lost my Dad. The best of times and the worst of times. In between, I've been numb. And now, I'm just sad.

Still, 'tis the season to be jolly.

So far we've only received two cards. I'm looking forward to seeing what the mail brings in the next couple of weeks.

How about you?

Maid In America

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 12:20:50 GMT

For years, I've been teasing my husband with a line from an old "Bickersons" comedy routine. (No, I'm not old enough to remember them first-run; I got an old cassette out of the library and learned the routines playing them over and over again.) In it, Blanche wails, "Why can't I have a maid?"

When I lived in a small bedroom in my parents first house, it was easy to keep tidy. Same in my first two (small) houses. But then I got married and moved into a sprawling contemporary ranch house. (The original owners had expanded with four additions, and finished off three-quarters of the basement, too.) We, therefore, essentially have four living rooms (it only took 11 years to furnish this place), and we rotate their use on a regular basis.

I don't know how I kept the place clean when I worked a full-time job and had a booth in an antiques co-op (for 12 years), and wrote (but not published) books, as well, but somehow I managed. Now that I don't have to squeeze cleaning and laundry into my life, it's gotten out of hand.

It's been a stressful year, and cleaning the house was not on the top of my to-do list. So, after talking about it for months (okay, really, a couple of years), we bit the bullet and called a cleaning service, and then stressed about it or a whole week.

I'd always heard of women who clean before the cleaners come. "That won't be me," I said.

I lied.

Two hours before they were to arrive, I found myself on my hands and knees cleaning the bathroom floor. Decluttering took the better part of an hour. Everything got stashed in my already messy office, which we hadn't contracted for them to clean. I had to leave to run an errand, so I wasn't there when the two ladies showed up, and wondered if I could find a way to STAY away while they were there.

No such luck. They were here for over three hours.

It turns out, I'm not the only writer around who has someone in to clean. One of my (very successful) author pals said hiring someone to come in and clean her house on a regular basis was the best thing she ever did for her writing career. It freed up hours and hours every week, giving her more time to devote to her career. (And she has a REAL career.) Still, I can't help feeling guilty.

Why do women feel they should do it all? My husband quit cutting the grass three or four years ago. Same with snowblowing the driveway. Gutters? There's a guy for that, too. Wanna dig up the garden in a big way? Just pick up the phone. We both work from home--and usually seven days a week--and he doesn't feel a lick of guilt over no longer doing his "home chores." So why should I feel like I'm not holding up my end?

Will somebody tell me it's okay to have the house cleaned on a regular basis -- and not by me? (And by the way, it really is nice to have a clean house!!!)

Making Hogwash into a Silk Purse?

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 13:35:46 GMT

Today I'm going to start the new book. I know, I know--I just handed a "new" book in last Tuesday, and I did edits on the previous "new" book, too. (Okay, haven't handed them in yet, but my editor is out of the office until Wednesday. It'll get there.)

Actually, on Friday, I didn't have a clue what the new book would be about. Okay, I did pitch a one paragraph load of hogwash over a year ago, thinking I'd come up with something--but maybe might have a better idea in the meantime.

Mind you, it wasn't really hogwash. It's just that I pitched something off the top of my head figuring if I couldn't come up with anything different, I'd make this work. Then I read the pitch about a month ago and started to panic. I thought over and over again about the figment-of-my-imagination idea and how nothing was happening in the idea-generation portion of my brain that would expand that 150-word paragraph into an 80,000 word book.

I had a BIG day Saturday, and I'd forgotten to set the alarm, so I laid awake in bed (because it was warm there and the rest of the house wasn't) and decided to think about the story so I wouldn't fall back asleep. Maybe I'd come up with that "better" idea. But I didn't. I started thinking about the setting where the murder would take place. I started thinking about the weather, the time of day, and who would be nearby. After about ten minutes, I decided I'd better head to the COLD, DRAFTY office and start putting these ideas into the computer before I lost them.

I didn't write a lot. Not even a page. But it was enough to get me going. I've had the story on the back burner all weekend, and I feel like I'm ready to make a first stab at Chapter 1. In fact, I'm looking forward to it. (Which isn't how I usually approach a new book. Usually I go into total procrastination mode.)

Now all I need is 80,000 and a really good title. (And I'll bet coming up with the title will be harder than coming up with the storyline.) I may end up having a contest to come up with the title, and if I do--I'll let you know.

PET PEEVE THURSDAY: Winter

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 13:13:22 GMT

I know, I know--officially winter doesn't even start until the Solstice on Dec. 21st, but I'm already fed up. Mind you, we have had a glorious fall. It was almost 60 degrees on Sunday. But we also had our first snow on Tuesday. And so I quoted Ebenezer Scrooge: "Bah. Humbug!"

I like where I live. I like the changing of the seasons. I just wish winter came and went in a week. I was never even disappointed those years we didn't have a White Christmas, either. And the worst: February. Okay, the days actually start to lengthen so that you notice it in February, but the shortest month seems the longest because we always seem to have two or three storms a week. Lake Effect Snow dumps right off either Lake Erie or Lake Ontario, and when you live close to the shore (thank goodness, not THAT close), you get more snow than those who live farther inland.

And, getting back to Christmas, now I'll have to suffer through at least three weeks of Der Bingle and everyone else who ever did a Christmas album singing about a White Christmas. (Okay, I like The Drifters version. It makes me laugh.) I'll have to be regaled about Walking In A Winter Wonderful, and A Marshmallow World In The Winter. Okay, I like the song Baby It's Cold Outside, but I'm with the guy telling the chick how miserable it is. Stay inside, honey, until at least April!

Five months is a long time for one season. (Okay, technically it's shorter, but we've been snowed in in April before.) I have no plans on moving. I'm stuck here. Guess I'll just have to turn up the heat and put on another sweater.

And how will you cope this winter?

Now, how do I do that?

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 15:23:33 GMT

For several years now, we've had a digital camera. We love it! It's so easy. And we can crop the shots, dump the bad ones, and tweak those that are too dark or too light. (And doesn't everybody want to take a picture of their classic toaster?) But we haven't printed anything in years. So now we're in a quandary. Where do we get prints?
It seems to me that I remember buying prints online -- but I don't think I took them. I think they were in someone else's photo album and I just clicked on them, gave my credit card number, and voila! They arrived in the mail a few days later.
So how do I do them for myself? And how do I crop the pictures.
So now I have to go on a quest for new knowledge. It means slogging through web sites, uploading, cropping (again). Or do I take my flash drive to a store and they do it?
I don't miss the old days of film, but I do miss getting my prints.

An Unexpected Review

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 08:18:04 GMT

The other day, my publicist . . . (doesn't that sound hoity-toi? Mind you, I share her with at least 99 if not 9,999 other authors) sent me a review for Bookplate Special.

Okay, what's so special about yet another review?

This one happens to be from Booklist.

So, big deal, you're probably saying to yourself.

Well, it is a big deal. Booklist is one of the BIG FOUR reviewers. With budgets being slashed for books, many libraries make their book-buying decisions from reviews in one of the big four review sources: Library Journal, Publishers Weekly, Kirkus and ... BOOKLIST. Believe me, if you're a small press author, a big four review can make or break you. (I didn't get one for my first hardcover and the book sank like the Titanic, which absolutely broke my heart.)

The BIG FOUR review primarily hardcover books.

Bookplate Special is a mass market paperback.

The best part of all: Booklist liked it, hey, Mikey! They said, in part,"Small-town New Hampshire life, the sisters' turbulent relationship, a budding romance, and plenty of cooking (includes recipes) provide the ambiance in this satisfying series. A good bet for readers of Joanne Fluke's Hannah Swensen mysteries."

Not bad, eh?

Pet Peeve Thursday: The Season That Lasts FOREVER!!!

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 12:33:51 GMT

Today, my buddy Jeff Cohen makes a return visit to Dazed and Confused. Jeff's latest book is A Night At The Operation will have you laughing all the way to the box office of Comedy Tonight--so don't miss it!
This is, I’m told, the day we’re supposed to take stock, sit back and better appreciate those things for which we are truly thankful.
So, try to come up with a pet peeve while you’re doing that!
Well, I have a real one, a juicy one, a pile of bile that gets me going every year around this time. And many of you reading this are going to be good and annoyed with me, cuff me around, call me names, possibly stop reading my books, or (more likely) find out what books I have written and then go out of your way not to read them. But I’ll say it anyway.
The Christmas season is as annoying and irritating a time of year as I can imagine. And yes, you can say it’s because I’m not one of the American majority who celebrate said holiday, although I am a member of the minority who take the day off to go to the movies and eat Chinese food.
But it’s not Christmas that bugs me. You want to have a day to celebrate the man who founded your religion? That’s lovely—go ahead and do that. I’m happy to have my wife and kids home and to go see that movie and eat that Chinese food. Everybody’s happy.
The problem is, you guys aren’t satisfied with one day. No. I have to be hearing about Christmas since before the end of the baseball season. Christmas stores open up for business in SEPTEMBER, for crying out loud. Entire radio stations are devoted to playing nothing but Christmas music. You can’t get near the Post Office for at least the last two weeks in December, and I have to mail stuff a lot.
“Oh Jeff,” I hear you say, “don’t be such a Scrooge.”
That’s another thing. The first 150 versions of “A Christmas Carol” weren’t enough? It wasn’t enough that this story has been the basis for everything from a classic Mr. Magoo cartoon to an episode of “The Odd Couple?” We had to have a 3-D version using digital technology with Jim Carrey playing, you know, everybody? What, nobody understood the scores of tries that came before it? The idea of a Christmas movie itself is weird--what other holiday has become a genre? I'm waiting for the first Tu B'ishvat movie. Once I find out what holiday Tu B'ishvat might be.
Imagine this: For Independence Day next year (I chose what is a secular holiday, at least for Americans), we started getting the fife-and-drum music in, say, late March. Radio stations devoted themselves for a FULL MONTH to playing the score of “1776,” and nothing else (especially that endless song about the slave trade and the depressing ballad about a mother searching for her son killed on the battlefield). Every year, someone decided to produce a new version of “Ben and Me” until it became an action movie starring Nicolas Cage and a CGI mouse with the voice of Jim Carrey. Everyone felt the need to buy 4th of July gifts for everyone they’ve ever known, and those who didn’t were considered “Benedict Arnolds.”
How would you feel THEN?
There’s nothing wrong with Christmas. Except that it goes on way too long.

And what's bugging YOU today?
------------------------------------
Check out all of Jeff's Double Feature Mysteries and his web site.

Fish for Thanksgiving?

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 13:22:26 GMT

Oh, no, not fish on the ACTUAL day -- I'm talking about a pre-Thanksgiving holiday treat. And that's visiting the Globe Hotel in East Aurora, NY.

Unlike most restaurants, the Globe offers fish fries every day of the week. (Man, if I only lived in East Aurora.) It's about the best fish fry you're likely to find in New York--and maybe the ENTIRE country!

For the past decade or so, we've made it a day-before-Thanksgiving ritual (and on Good Friday, too) to visit the Globe for one of their wonderful fish fries, and today will be no different. We'll hoist a glass of some kind of cheer (for me it's a gin Martini), and no doubt we'll be toasting my Dad, who'll be missing from the table. So it'll be a little bit sad, but a lot of good eating.

Tomorrow we'll fill up on turkey and all the trimmings, but today--it's my wish for fish come true!

A Clean Sweep

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 21:01:14 GMT

We've been talking about it for several years now. Today, we finally made a decision: we're getting someone in twice a month to CLEAN THE HOUSE.

When I had a day job, somehow I not only managed to put in 40 hours a week there, but I had a booth in an antique co-op, and I kept us in clean clothes and the house pretty tidy. Since then, my life has been a lot more chaotic. (Especially this past year when my Dad was so sick.) I've found it hard to take care of us (including four cats), my parents, and the house, AND write two books, AND do all the promo for them. In fact, it was the house that suffered the most.

When we got the cost break down, and it was much less than we'd anticipated, I kicked myself for not investigating this years ago.

Of course, the messiest room in the house (my office) will not be part of the cleaners' job. But that's okay. I still hold out some hope that one day I'll become super organized. And if I really only have to worry about this room, then that should be okay.

I feel this tremendous sense of relief. The house will look better, we'll be happier, and I'm nearly sure we'll see a rainbow in the sky every day (or once every other week) from now on.

At least I hope so.

Big Favor, Please!

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 11:28:25 GMT

Tomorrow, Sunday, Nov. 22nd, I'll be guest blogging on The Lipstick Chronicles. This is one of THE biggest mystery reader blogs on the Internet, and I was absolutely THRILLED to be invited.

The favor part? Please, please, PLEASE go over and check out my post. If enough of my readers check it out, there's a chance they'll invite me back when the next book comes out next August. (And as I'll be in deadline hell and not doing much/any face-to-face promotion, it would be a very big deal.)

So, if you haven't already checked out The Lipstick Chronicles (go ahead, spend a couple of hours reading their older posts, you'll probably enjoy them as much as I do), please do so tomorrow.

(P.S. I'm writing about my one-star review on Amazon--hopefully it's an amusing take. And please feel free to leave comments!)

Hot Topics

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:21:06 GMT

Before TV went totally digital back in June, I had a little television in my kitchen. I would somehow often find an excuse to be in the kitchen at 11 a.m. on weekdays and -- oh my! -- the TV would magically come on and I'd have to stand there and watch The View. (I'm a big Whoopi fan, so when she took over as moderator I ended up in front of the tube even more.) I'd walk in place and pretend I was doing my exercise of the day so that no one could accuse me of totally wasting my time.

My favorite part of the show was the "Hot Topics" segment. I was good for half an hour of exercise on any given day, and more so if they devoted the whole show to the subject.

Then TV ceased to be analog and not only did I stop watching The View, but I stopped walking in place for half an hour. Okay, I have a TV with cable, so it's not like I went cold turkey, but it's just not the same.

And I'm not half as well informed as I was. I mean, what are they saying about Sarah Palin and Levi Johnston these days? Beats me. I have no clue who's Dancing With The Stars (like I ever cared) or is on American Idol--which isn't even on right now, is it? How would I know. When they cut out analog TV there went my access to, well, Access Hollywood AND Entertainment Tonight. (Surely they've dragged Anna Nichol out of mothballs what with her attorney and doctor set for trial, right? Hey, I read the newspaper, so it's not like I'm totally cut off.)

My husband trolls the Internet for world updates, and if anything's breaking, he'll yell out important news, like what Tyler Florence is cooking on AOL Food. (Hey, we have our priorities in this house.)

But I miss the Hot Topics. Still, I've found that my world has not stopped revolving. I have more time to goof off on the Internet and, oh yes! actually write. (Okay, I'm goofing off more than working on my next novel--but part of that goofing off also includes blog entries.)

I can't be the only one who's not up to speed on who's who or who's in whose bedrooms, etc. Anybody else as uninformed as me?

PET PEEVE THURSDAY: "CAN I GET IT FROM THE LIBRARY?"

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 14:31:26 GMT

by guest blogger Kate Flora

Pet peeves--you want pet peeves? How about people you've known for years who still begin conversations with, "How's the book doing? I haven't read you, but...." Or who ask about your books and then say, "Can I get them at the library?"

I learned, when people ask that to say, "You can get it at the bookstore." And I learned (I hesitate to share this, but it is important) to end my library and bookstore talks with the following:

I've been in this business since 1994, and over the years, I have seen a lot of really good writers get dropped by their publishers and disappear, so their books can no longer be read. A lot of readers don't realize that the way we survive is by our book sales. Our publishers may like it that we're good writers and good speakers, but for them, it's the bottom line that counts: If we don't sell books, we don't continue to get published.

If I'm in a library, I will often say...I know we're in a library and you can read the book for free, but if you don't support the less well-known authors, your own choices get more limited.

In a bookstore, I often point out that the bookstore is going out of their way to support this event for their readers, and that they, too, survive on their book sales.

Occasionally I'll get a question that makes me go the whole nine yards, and explain that our publishers expect us to do all the marketing, event arranging, publicity, write our own newsletters, print our own postcards, etc. Readers are often shocked by this.

A paperback costs no more than a few cups of Starbucks coffee. A hardback a little more, but it gives many more hours of pleasure. When you're done, you can share it with a friend or give it to your library. So please, seriously consider buying a book. If you don't buy mine, please give your support to some other author. And help keep us published.

Once readers understand how critical book sales are, some of them really go the whole nine yards themselves. Kind readers have made my books, especially the anthologies, hostess gifts or holiday gifts, or sponsored my books at their libraries by buying and donating a copy. These are such painless ways to support an author. And how about this? An apple pie or apple cake and a copy of one of Sheila Connolly's Apple Orchard mysteries? A small, bow-tied packet of Lorna Barrett's Bookstown Mysteries in a basket with cookies and good cocoa? Wed your creativity to ours, and everyone wins.

So what's bugging you today?
----------------------------------
Kate Flora is not only a terrific author, but she's also co-editor of the new anthology, Quarry, stories of crime in New England from Level Best Books. Don't miss Kate's 7th Thea Kozak novel, Stalking Death, soon to be available in soft cover.

THANK YOU!

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 15:05:14 GMT

Does the picture on the left tell you anything?

Sunday, November 22nd, BOOKPLATE SPECIAL will debut on the New York Times Bestsellers list for mass market paperbacks at #20. (Bookmarked for Death only made it to #30.)

Can you say: "YEEEEE HAAAA!!!!"

What? You still haven't bought your copy? Well, come on -- help me move up the list to #19 -- or even (heaven forbid) #15!!!

I'm pretty chuffed about all this, but that doesn't mean I can slack off. I'm working, Working, STILL WORKING on the first Victoria Square mystery (yipe! the deadline is next week!!!) and will jump right into the next Booktown Mystery (which doesn't yet have a title).

So I'll be busy, Busy, BUSY for quite a while.

But I did want to say thank you to everyone who has already bought the book.

From The Heart Of The Home

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 14:23:47 GMT

Okay, Thanksgiving is still more than a week away, and maybe I do rush the Christmas season--but, hey, the happiest times of most children's lives is Christmas. The anticipation is monumental. Was it just greed or was it the absolute joy of everything about Christmas that made a kid's heart soar?

For me, as an adult, getting into the Christmas season means two things: music and -- surprise! --books.

I have a lot of Christmas (coffee-table) books, but my all-time-favorite is the very first I ever got. It was a gift from my Mum, which makes it even more special. It's Susan Branch's "Christmas From The Heart Of The Home." Unfortunately, it's out of print (Yes, YOU MISSED IT) -- but Susan's "keepsake" version "Christmas Joy" is still available. (Hey, and just to name drop, Susan is now my friend on Twitter. She has ACTUALLY tweeted TO me, how amazingly COOL is that???)

Usually my Mum signs the books she gives to me (for birthdays and Christmas), but for some reason she forgot to do that with this one (and with my very favorite decorating book, The Romance of County Inns by Gail Grecco). I can't tell you how many times I've read Christmas From The Heart Of The Home--not just glanced at the pretty pages (Susan illustrates all her books with charming watercolors), but READ THE ENTIRE BOOK--ALL THE RECIPES and everything!!! At least three or four times every Christmas season for at least ten, if not fifteen, years. (I've made quite a few of the recipes, too!) I love the art. I love the recipes--but most of all, I love the suggestions on celebrating.

But one of the things I love most is that Susan wrote about Christmas on Martha's Vinyard. I love new England, and one of the things on my "bucket list" is the Nantucket Stroll." Since I first read Susan's books, I've longed to visit both Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket--off season. (Have I mentioned how much I hate crowds?)

It will probably never happen, so maybe one holiday I'll spend the holiday at my family's summer cottage. To do that, the place would have to be winterized. Our neighbor, who winterized a summer cottage to make a year-round home said it was THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF HIS LIFE, and in retrospect wished he'd razed the place and started from scratch. There's so much of my Dad in that place (he gutted it and did a total remodel and addition), that I don't think I could do that.

So, as in years before, I will (okay, already have) delve into my copy of Christmas From The Heart Of The Home and dream about spending the holiday on the shore. (And maybe down a couple of "Peach Cream" drinks--recipe on page 31...just in case you'd like to join me.)

A Major Mistake!!

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:52:33 GMT

So there I was, corking in the changes on the new manuscript and came across a note I'd made to myself: Check time line to make sure what day the funeral was on.

My time line is kind of a fluid thing. I usually end up writing MOST of it at rewrite time, so I can figure out where the holes in the story are. I was working on Chapter 13, and I needed to check something in Chapter 10. So back to the time line I went, to see what happened on what day and OHMYGOD -- I had an extra day in the week!!!! That can't happen. I've read this story about a gazillion times, there's no way I could've made that kind of error!

So I started shuffling papers, and wondering how the heck I can fix a mistake this honking big with only two weeks left to go before the manuscript is due.

Can you say: PANIC ATTACK???

So back I went, trying to figure out where I'd made my mistake, my stomach churning, tears close to falling when all of a sudden I saw it. The mistake was in the TIME LINE not the manuscript.

Whew! What a relief.

Pass the Mylanta, will you?

Ever have one of those day?

PET PEEVE THURSDAY--A Bad Day At The Grocery Store

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:31:46 GMT

My friend, and fellow author, Kate Flora has had a bad time at the grocery store. Here's a few of her peeves:

People in grocery stores who let their kids eat stuff and leave the
empty package in the grocery cart. Nasty! Often they also leave dirty
napkins behind, too.
Grocery store checkers who put the milk on top of the bread, so the loaf comes out squashed flat. They also bruise the pears, smash the chips, mangle cookies and put the salad in sideways so it spills lettuce and oil all over the other stuff.
Grocery store checkers who think you have to cram as much as possible into a bag, so when you try to carry it inside, the bag splits and everything falls on the cement garage floor.
Grocery store checkers who persist in carrying on a conversation with someone else the whole time they're ringing up your order.

And what's bugging YOU today?
------------------------------------
Kate Flora is not only a terrific author, but she's also co-editor of the new anthology, Quarry, stories of crime in New England from Level Best Books. Don't miss Kate's novel, Stalking Death, soon to be available in soft cover.

LET ME EAT CAKE

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:29:31 GMT

Yesterday my Mum went to her monthly knitting group. It was her turn to take dessert. With all the chaos that's been part of our lives for the past four months, her knitting friends weren't sure she'd make the meeting, so someone else baked. That meant leftovers.

Guess who was the happy recipient of said leftovers? (Her initials are L.B.)

It so happens, that my mother had purchased one of Wegmans' ULTIMATE WHITE CAKEs. They're pretty yummy. I think they could go with a little less sugar in the frosting, but that's just my opinion. (And I could be wrong. They've already had--and addressed--some complaints about there being too much frosting, but can you EVER get too much frosting?)

We ate the cake for breakfast.

What? For breakfast?

Yeah, who says you HAVE to eat two eggs and a side of bacon. (Although you could probably entice me to do so if YOU do the cooking.) Or a bowl of steaming oatmeal (about as inviting as catching a cold while in Hawaii). Kids get fed bowls of sugar in disguise as breakfast cereal, so why not cake for breakfast?

I remember once I took a visiting friend to the cafeteria at Kodak for a hearty breakfast. This cafeteria was feeding guys who'd been working the night shift and they were hungry. We feasted on pork chops and scalloped potatoes at 8:15 a.m. and it was absolutely delicious. (And we didn't need a big lunch, either.)

I think people (including myself) should feel free to eat whatever they want at any meal. So why don't I? Maybe it's all those commercials I've been subjected to over the years about eating a "good breakfast." If it's the most important meal of the day, shouldn't we be eating the biggest meal then (or at least a bigger portion of the daily intake and then slack off at night so we can digest in peace)?

From now on, I'm going to eat whatever I like for breakfast.

Maybe.

How about you?

Pet Peeve Thursday: Whatever happened to THROW THE BUMS OUT???

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:37:07 GMT

This past Tuesday was election day. For most of the summer the local newspaper has been awash with letters from disgruntled voters, complaining about the problems both in Albany (our state capital) and here in the Rochester area. It costs more to live in New York than even parts of California. (We're running neck and neck.) For all our tax dollars spent we still have roads and bridges that are falling apart, school children graduating with reading skills at the elementary level (if they even achieve that), and jobs evaporating like a puddle on a hot day in July.

The problem? Too many of our elected officials would rather listen to the voices of special interests than listen to the problems of their constituents. They seem to spend their years in office scheming how to STAY in office and raising war chests of loot to keep themselves in office, so they can continue to line their pockets from the lobbying of special interest groups.

The answer? Vote them all out and start fresh. That's the only way to clean house with new people to change the way our government is run.

And what does the voting population do? They vote these politicians (who are mostly white and male) in again and again and again. And then months from now those same voters will be complaining that nothing ever changes, that our tax money is wasted, and we're taxed to death, and still they won't see that they are part of the problem.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

But on a happier note, I've jumped off my soap box and am the guest today at Lori's Reading Corner blog (talking about old cookbooks). Not only that, but I just had enough time to stop by the Jungle Red Writers blog, too. (Those women know how to party!) Hope you'll check them out!

But before you do: What's Bugging YOU Today?

Whet Your Appetite on a Bookplate Special!

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 13:10:25 GMT

What do you get with murder, good eating (with recipes), and a phantom pumpkin smasher? Get ready to chow down on one honey of a BOOKPLATE SPECIAL, which is officially released today!

In BOOKPLATE SPECIAL, Tricia has put up—and put up with—her uninvited college roommate for weeks. In return, Pammy, has stolen $100, among other things. But the day she’s kicked out, Pammy’s found dead in a dumpster, leaving loads of questions unanswered. Like what was she foraging for? Did her killer want it too? To piece the case together, Tricia will have to dive in head-first.…

You can check out an excerpt on my website--click here!

I'll be signing in a bunch of places in the Rochester, NY area in November and December. For a list, click here!

For my kick-off, I'll be signing books at Barnes and Noble in Greece Ridge Center on Saturday, November 7th, 2-4 p.m. Since the book features a food pantry, I'm encouraging my readers to bring a non-perishable food item for the Greece Ecumenical Food Pantry. Those who do will receive a free (unpublished, limited edition) short story written by me! (Those who don't bring anything, but still want the story can make a donation.)

Can't make it to Rochester (and let's face it--we are kind of off the beaten track)? I'd love to send you a bookplate for your copy of Bookplate Special. Just send an email with your name and address to contest @ LornaBarrett.com (to avoid spam, I put spaces in that email address--just take them out, and it'll go through fine).